16 important things...

[hiddenagenda]

SIXTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN by

Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

FINAL Tip for the day:

16. Men are like a fine wine They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.                    

[Imperial_X]

I disagree.  Licking steak knives are fun.  It also makes for quite the hobby these days.                    

[hiddenagenda]

lol
damn imperial youposting up a storm these days.
1771 iymc                    

[Shinigami]

screw no.11, boi i like meh birtday gift                    

[CrashKid]

no.16 is totally right dem f**king b!tches but u gots to still love dem nice a$$ nice tits whoo :-D                    

[Fault]

That was very deep CrashKid....                    

[CrashKid]

yes i know i should become a poet                    

[Rommel]

that would be a true threat to hummanity                    

[New Era Outlaw]

That's pretty deep, hidden.
Only one that bothers me is number three, though.
It's going on the assumption here that just because I chase after deep-sea leprechauns in my spare time, it automatically qualifies me as insane.


........what?
Don't tell me you've never heard of deep sea leprechauns.
What???
You...HAVEN'T?
(gasp)
You poor, poor soul living such a sheltered existence....

.....no, I won't tell you the secret to finding them.
That's MY little secret.
Okay, okay, you've convinced me.....it involves MAYONNAISE.
Happy hunting!!!                      

[CrashKid]

no15 yep dats true always try something new like 3somes n sh!t                    

[Waggy]

I disagree.  Licking steak knives are fun.  It also makes for quite the hobby these days.

Please refer to number 3.

And yes, I've seen those deep sea leprechauns. Seen em with me own eye.                    

[TrinireturnofGamez]

it depends which SIDE of the steak knife you lick, the sharper end always has this nice metallic tang to it, very juicy too.

@15 , noah didn't have to deal with ice burgs or navigation.

@8 the most destructive force in the universe  is a  large falling object [ wiped out the dinasours, crushed several people, caused my toe to bleed]

deep sea leapruchauns 0wn j00 , the secret is to drink a 250ml bottle of rubbing alcahol in less than 10 minutes, before you start frothing you can see the leapruchauns.                    

[Mugsy]

no 8. kinnah wrong. the most destrutive force in the universe is Dante from Devil may cry                    

[New Era Outlaw]

deep sea leapruchauns 0wn j00 , the secret is to drink a 250ml bottle of rubbing alcahol in less than 10 minutes, before you start frothing you can see the leapruchauns.

Actually, those are deep sea GREMLINS you would be seeing. They appear when you drink Rubbing Alcohol. Believe me, ANYBODY can see a deep-sea gremlin, but seeing a deep-sea leprechaun is rare indeed.

I told you, it involves mayonnaise.
If you want me to give the secret away.....okay, I'll be a bit lenient here.
You also need some Turtle Wax.

...wait a minute.....what the FUDGE are we talking about again??                    

[New Era Outlaw]

no 8. kinnah wrong. the most destrutive force in the universe is Dante from Devil may cry

No. The most destructive force in the universe is an army of man-eating cucumber sandwiches. Thanks for playing, though, and here's your prize!
(hands Mugsy a half-eaten cookie)

...yep.
And it only took me a couple of minutes to brush off all of those roaches too- EEP!  :shock:
I-I mean, enjoy your cookie!!!                    

[gorgonmaster]

ahaha                    

[Waggy]

17. NROP is good for the soul                    

[New Era Outlaw]

17. NROP is good for the soul

Why, yes....yes it is.
PORN ain't half bad either.                      

[CrashKid]

no.18 number 17 is bullsh!t                    

[QDizzle]

That's pretty deep, hidden.
Only one that bothers me is number three, though.
It's going on the assumption here that just because I chase after deep-sea leprechauns in my spare time, it automatically qualifies me as insane.


........what?
Don't tell me you've never heard of deep sea leprechauns.
What???
You...HAVEN'T?
(gasp)
You poor, poor soul living such a sheltered existence....

.....no, I won't tell you the secret to finding them.
That's MY little secret.
Okay, okay, you've convinced me.....it involves MAYONNAISE.
Happy hunting!!!  

***SLAPS FOREHEAD SO HARD MUH EARS START RINGING*******

I JUS REMEMBERED WHY I DOH B ON D FORUMS MUCH AGAIN F*CK I DOES B SEEING HERE JED FROM MR ED TO LEPRECHAUANS WHO HAV A FETISH FUH MAYONNAISE STEUPS ME LOGS OFF FROM FORUMS NOW YES DIS MC NEED MORE HELP THAN PSYCHO DUNPEAL IN HIS ATTEMPTS TO ACTUALLY LEARN TO PLAY A GAME THAT BAEGO TEACHIN HIM