Post jokes here

[bAnDiT]

Well folks it's back don't spam just give ur joke and leave
You can be stale if you wish
I'll start:
The nuts man get arrested today why?
FOR AH-SAULT!!!

OK I'm talkin to a girl who I don't know with a bunch of my friends and I say"btw I'm Anthony"
she says "ok???"

What's brown and sticky???
not Sh!t, not hot chocolate
A STICK!!!                      

[thrillseeker]

How Stupid Can Someone b?

I knew a person that was so stupid that.......

] she called me to get my phone number.

] she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

] she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

] she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

] she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

] she tried to drown a fish.

] she thought a "quarterback" was a refund.

] she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

] she tripped over a cordless phone.

] she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

] she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

] she studied for a blood test.

]she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

] when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

] when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

] when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said
"Airport Left" she turned around and went home....
                           

[New Era Outlaw]

x 100

STALE JOKE TIME!!!

Three men walk into a bar. Ouch.
(rimshot)

*audience boos*


Mean people.                    

[DeadEyes]

that was really stale peoples and BANDIT yuh mc, yuh tief mih joke about brown and sticky yuh mudda neck                    

[ShinSagat]

How many porn stars it take to screw a light bulb?                      

[DeadEyes]

i dunno how much?                    

[PyroSlasher]

I get this in an email.
A woman walk in a store...*audiance laughs*....Not yet!Anyway...A woman walk in a store an ask for pink curtains.After sum time of very picky choosing she agrees on one and ask for a piece 15 inches long.The clerk ask her what kinda room she have.She say is not for a room.....its for her computer.
Clerk"Computer"
Woman"Yeah....u eh know I have windows!"

*Pyro dodges shoe thrown at him*lol                    

[New Era Outlaw]

How many porn stars it take to screw a light bulb?

Wait....I KNOW this one.
Err....



.....does it involve polka-dotted tube socks and this jalapeno sausage? *points to sausage*  :lol2:                      

[carlsberg]

HEADLINE NEWS:

- 80 year old man arressted for rape
- cased dissmised
REASON: evidence could not stand up in court



- woman held in overnite raid
- Judge sentences her to 9 months hard labour.

                   

[carlsberg]

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories on how they died.

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband wascheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died!

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both still be alive.
                     

[bAnDiT]

LOL
keep them comin people
this one is a pun
a man visits his councillor
the councillor asks what's the problem this time liquor?
the man answers no she licked me                    

[AngryBastard]

[scaR] [Geese_Howard] http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v479/exspoons/rbsig2.gif [-- fellas rate dis from 1 - 10 [-- it sucks, you need to remove "geese" and put "scaR", that'll fix it.
[scaR]
[[X]-Rampage] nice sig rb
[[X]-Rampage] can you make one like that and put sarge in it?
[Geese_Howard] or i could put HYMC
[scaR] lol
[coldstorm] lol

OMFG!!!! :lol2:
THAT REEL HARSH!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
HMM... i wish i knew a good joke....
ahhh here's one..

They were together in the House.      
Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and
each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and


wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect  her

from the storm.

She wanted that...more than anything....
Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.


He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
he storm raged on...as did their growing passion. And


there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were


 they in their passion that they heard no opening


of doors...just the faint click of a camera......





                     

[carlsberg]

Men strike back!
]
]
]
]How many men does it take to open a beer?
]
]None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
]
]Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
]probably never be able to support you.
]--------------------------------------------------------------------
]Why do women have smaller feet than men?
]
]It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
]stand closer to the kitchen sink.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
]
]When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]How do you fix a woman's watch?
]
]You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]Why do men break wind more than women?
]
]Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
]pressure.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
]at the front door, who do you let in first?
]
]The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
]
]A woman who won't do what she's told.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]I married Miss Right.
]
]I just didn't know her first name was
]Always.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
]drive by 90%.
]
]It's called a Wedding Cake.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]Why do men die before their wives?
]
]They want to.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]Women will never be equal to men
]until they can walk down the street
]
]with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
]sexy.
]-------------------------------------------------------------------
]In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
]Then God created Man and rested.
]Then God created Woman.
]
]Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.                    

[mangoseed_89]

2 crix walkin down the road


1 tell a joke


d other one crack up

____________________________________________________


2 vomits limin on d block


they pass a certain house


and 1 of them said


"That's where i was brought up"                    

[PsiVal]

This is a trademark joke but real ppl know...HCC

What kind of boots do you find in the forest?*quiet*
Give up? *cricket chirps*
Lugs...                    

[ShinSagat]

i dunno how much?
:quote:

Well d joke was that they cant fit in d light bulb but i wanted to hear what men would say
                     

[DeadEyes]

what's goes black white black white black white? a penguin rollin down a hill                    

[DeadEyes]

what kinda locks a rasta have on he house?
Dreadlocks

the nutsman wife get burn by fire, what did the newspaper call it?
Honey roasted..                    

[AngryBastard]

the nutsman wife get burn by fire, what did the newspaper call it?
Honey roasted..

^^^ das a super stale one that i hear a million times....
 [_[                      

[DeadEyes]

a minister propositioning a prostitute ask her how much for sex, she said $300 as a starting price he say waay's i cyah get it cheaper?
so she tell him
if you get my skirt as high as inflation
my panties as low as the income rates are
and that thing in yuh pants as HARD as times are
we go do it fuh free