Ode to the Nice Guys

[Waggy]

Ode to the Nice Guys


This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what a$$holes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.                    

[~*Ashiee*~]

MEET THE WHIMPSTER: THE MANIPULATIVE AZZHOLE IN SENSITIVE CLOTHING.
  By Rachel Elder  02.12.04  
     
      There is a new post-feminist plague afflicting single women and his name is Whimpster.
He is a man who has perfected his male insecurity as a way of manipulating the very expectations women have come to have. He is a man who uses self-deprecation and vulnerability to prey upon a woman's need to nurture to sate his own massive ego. While he seems to reject a terrible macho-ness, he's constructing a careful persona designed to reel in unsuspecting targets.

Maybe you've dated him? Even worse: maybe you *are* dating him.

Who is this whimpster?

Simply put: He is male. He is white. He is wimpy. He looks a little bit emo, a little bit hipster, and he's more dangerous than you'd think. So, the next time you wake up next to someone whispering
       
         acrimonious nothings about his ex-girlfriend instead of going down on you, you'll know a little more about this seemingly gentle boy you went home with. This is the 'dark side' of Lloyd Dobler, of our precious Duckie, and life with him is much different after the credits roll. Whimpsters are men who use cultural artifacts and politically correct platitudes in place of the empty spaces where real thought and emotion should be. Whimpsters are men who unwittingly enjoy Bukowski's misogyny. Whimpsters walk a tenuous tightrope between their secreted, terribly warped masculinity and the mainstream manliness that they claim to abhor.

Fuck Lloyd Dobler.

This male insecurity-as-manipulation thing really needs to
       
      be stopped. If you're a whimpster, consider yourself outed.

Why They Seem Attractive, at First.

Initially, these guys can seem super sensitive, super "deep." You'll probably receive a mix tape or quoted song lyrics during the initial courting session. He'll spend a lot of time talking about how he relates to some sort of super-sensitive movie character or musician, or mention how much he enjoys those reruns of My So Called Life. And he's done his research. He knows chicks die for the characters in John Hughes' movies, and whimpsters bank on these characters' worst traits: The hang-ups over small, inconsequential things; the chronic need for reassurance; the grade school hints that he might just "like you like you."
 
what they look like....

and read more abut this type of man...that's why women find it so hard to trust....
http://www.blacktable.com/elder040212.htm                    

[TrinireturnofGamez]

i declare this thread:

the copy and paste SPAMFEST!!!!



you can't start stereotyping people just because u had a bad experience with 1... everbody is different in some way or another.

and.. please.. use SMALLER words.                    

[Crixx_Creww]

Cheers to waggy for his empassioned stance on this serious issue.

And

Jeers to splits for her slightly racist, more than skewed stance on this issue.

Damn, wish i could make that ode to the nice guys a sticky ... *pouts*                    

[Waggy]

Dude I just found it and posted it here. Says at the top it's origin.
Trini, nobody's being stereotypical. My pos was about one type of person, and splits was about another type (dunno why she did though).
It's wierd how they find it hard to trust, yet they call the sincere ones the azzholes and go out with the real azzholes.
Splits that article is just an excuse, written by a woman, to defend all women.                    

[Rommel]

the real hard core feminist are as bad as male sexists

because technically those women act like sexists themselves :razz2:                    

[Imperial_X]

Dude I just found it and posted it here. Says at the top it's origin.
Trini, nobody's being stereotypical. My pos was about one type of person, and splits was about another type (dunno why she did though).
It's wierd how they find it hard to trust, yet they call the sincere ones the azzholes and go out with the real azzholes.
Splits that article is just an excuse, written by a woman, to defend all women.

Man, who ever wrote that sh!t waggy posted there...

NOBEL F!!CK!N PRIZE B!TCH!!!!!

There are countless little things in life that are done that people overlook that make theme the complete idiots they are today.                    

[TrinireturnofGamez]

i was saying.....


physco's post is stereotypical..... Waggy's post sounds like it came from a frustrated individual , both look like they were cut and paste.

 Many wimps pretend to be macho, like many macho guys pretend to be wimpy, its strange how people work... never happy to accept how they are, its this human condition that what you don't have is always better than what you have. Its why tan cream sells in europe , america and canada and fair cream sells in india and east asia .                    

[Berzerk]

hmm maybe they are just being themselves....who says pretending isnt in some ways just being yerself?

kudos to all who are punks..know dey are punks...and choose to try an mature enuff to change it                    

[New Era Outlaw]

(sighs after reading above)
My head hurts....(smashes cranium on random bottle of aspirin)

It's a shame, really....I would really like to think that I was one of the nice guys once....now, I seem to stick my foot in my mouth way too often these days...sometimes, without even knowing it.
                     

[Rommel]

A nice guy is a guy who is nice for the right reasons

sometime things just are not complicated

but the reasons are                    

[Ice]

way boy the nice boy sound too much like me... damn!!                    

[The_Dark_Goddess]

i feelin too lazy to read splits post but i read waggy's

i agree with waggy's post
i know lots of nice guys out there who deserve to get all the credit it in the world and the girls they choose to back just DONT give it to them

kudos waggy                    

[CRaZyAnGeL]

y b nice?
wat fun is dere in being nice?

being mean is a way of life:p
^^^^ serius quote:p
its copyrighted b!tch                    

[strongton]

nice guy finish dead last, so far behind that when we reach the finish line, nobdy is there
IT PAYS TO BE BAD, BAD GUYS HAVE ALL THE FUN                    

[New Era Outlaw]

nice guy finish dead last, so far behind that when we reach the finish line, nobdy is there
IT PAYS TO BE BAD, BAD GUYS HAVE ALL THE FUN

...until they get busted.
Then it's the good guys who are experiencing all of the fun of the known free world, all because of one thing - complete and undisputed clarity of conscience. True, there won't be ANYBODY on this Earth who doesn't have a few skeletons in his or her closet, but like the saying goes.....
'Who you are is often dictated by what you do.'

Or, if you look at life the other way around,
'What you do is often dictated by who you are.'

It all depends on your outlook on life.
Me? I'm a firm believer in the first one.
Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words, especially when what's being dealt with is one's very being.                    

[The_Dark_Goddess]

indeed neo, indeed.

why be nice?
heh...to all the @$$holes out there, and all those who think bad guys really DO have all the fun...i agree...they have fun, but as neo said, only until they get busted!
and then one day they will mess with a chick who dont take BS...heh...while not all of them may teach the lesson by adding a few years (or a lifetime) of not being able to walk properly, i'm sure whatever punishment comes by will be adequate.                    

[strongton]

no more bad girls for me, only church girls , sometimes yuh is really cant tell is a gal bad unless yuh pay attention to detail                    

[[X]~Bryan_Master]

http://sucs.org/~nicholas/djb/index.php
http://www.sosuave.com

Nice guys pease check out these sites.                    

[strongton]

church gyls, not as bad, as they tend to have VALUES, that others may lack
i aint sayin that if not doh go to church yuh aint have not values, just that the probabilty is higher