Author Topic: comments on the anime story (Read 5808 times)

Lafiel · « **on:** December 02, 2003, 06:29:03 PM »

i just want to know what you guys think about it

Carigamers · « **on:** December 02, 2003, 06:29:03 PM »

Anonymous · « **Reply #1 on:** December 02, 2003, 06:30:23 PM »

too much foreplay and no action

The_Dark_Goddess · « **Reply #2 on:** December 02, 2003, 07:43:51 PM »

Quote

too much foreplay and no action

*crowds go wild*

Evangelion_01 · « **Reply #3 on:** December 02, 2003, 08:20:05 PM »

*throws tomatoes*

Take it easy...this story is ACTUALLY meant to have aplot ppl, so if yuh doh like to read...HARD luck and suck salt

Lafiel · « **Reply #4 on:** December 03, 2003, 02:17:53 PM »

its coming. its coming

Carigamers · « **Reply #4 on:** December 03, 2003, 02:17:53 PM »

androsovic · « **Reply #5 on:** December 03, 2003, 04:35:29 PM »

how allyuh nasty so??

loki:too much foreplay
DG:Crowd goes wild
Lafiel:It's coming

tsk tsk tsk

perfectdrug · « **Reply #6 on:** December 03, 2003, 05:05:07 PM »

^^^how YOU so nasty...

...i rel admire allyuh skill...
...i find thas rel skill transferring thoughts into words that make sense...

The_Dark_Goddess · « **Reply #7 on:** December 04, 2003, 12:04:25 AM »

thank perfect drug.

andro....no comment...you need..i dunno...sedatives or something...

Evangelion_01 · « **Reply #8 on:** December 04, 2003, 12:36:59 AM »

He needs a strait jacket and some good anenima...

The_Dark_Goddess · « **Reply #9 on:** December 04, 2003, 01:08:02 AM »

Quote

He needs a strait jacket and some good anenima...

ROTFLMAO

KYAK KYAK KYAK!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was good. thanks eva, i needed that.

anyway, back to the point, when do u think u will be able to make that explaning post boy? we all waiting.

Polios · « **Reply #10 on:** December 04, 2003, 05:09:45 PM »

*jeopardy music plays*

Lafiel · « **Reply #11 on:** December 05, 2003, 12:32:22 PM »

grows cobwebs and dies waiting

Asian§pices · « **Reply #12 on:** December 05, 2003, 08:30:33 PM »

......soon to whitter away.....

Osiris · « **Reply #13 on:** December 05, 2003, 09:01:29 PM »

some decent Rp but i've seen better like here http://www.byakugan.net/guiltygear/

Evangelion_01 · « **Reply #14 on:** December 06, 2003, 10:43:02 AM »

Okay okay-hear what. I SHORT on net time these days and phonebill I CYAH pay okay. DG and Lafiel-both of you know the storyline from where I called both of you and explained it to both of you. Ya'll need to carry on without me for a short time till I get everything settled okay?

PyroSlasher · « **Reply #15 on:** December 06, 2003, 11:17:13 AM »

So can we start back posting again?

Evangelion_01 · « **Reply #16 on:** December 06, 2003, 05:53:25 PM »

*sigh* Yes Pyro-Go ahead...I shall leave it up to DG and Lafiel to hopefully explain the storyline so far. Not nuff time to make a good post...

Asian§pices · « **Reply #17 on:** December 06, 2003, 10:09:31 PM »

>..........still waiting to knoe whats de latest..........so i could organize myself tuh think of something inovative fuh my nex post lol.......

i checked out de site Osiris..it is kool..de interface is nice
the difference with out RPG story with da one is da dey using characters from Guilty Gear X2 to create an interesting, interactive RPG story while we starting from scrach.
the thing i like about that RPG is da at de side they hav a little secription of each character and a picture of what each look like...
something that we should introduce into ours i hope

also something that we can use from theirs:
OOC means "out-of-character"
i think we can use this...so its like any comments we wah say we can put it there to explain so that everyone else to nex post can get an idea of wah yuh hav in mind etc...
and after we finish de whole story we can edit de posts and take em out after if we wah...

what you all think?

The_Dark_Goddess · « **Reply #18 on:** December 06, 2003, 11:03:57 PM »

yeah i like that idea asianspices.
it would make things a whole lot easier

i would also like to know, from readers, what places, if any, that THEY saw any of these problems such the OOC thing.
and what THEY think about how we put this together via our individual posts, things like: do we stick to the same track, do we portray the other charaters well, etc etc

Fault · « **Reply #19 on:** December 31, 2003, 04:51:19 AM »

I think your rp story sucks. But before you go all gangstah on me listen to what I have to say.

First of all your story was cheapened early on by the character named "Pyroslasher" and by just that his name. He now has no choice but to be the wielder of a flaming sword in my view and even in stories where the hero wields a flaming sword he still has a regular name. Everyone else has real names and his lack of judgement in choosing a name makes the story seem "childish" from the get-go. What is the deal with so many of the characters being immortal? I think for immortal characters they are being ordered around too much which is to say the least, quite unseemly. A lot of evanguard's grammar sucks such as:"Something tells me we'll find out what that girl I kept dreaming about those four years ago, and her taking the Book from me [/b]the word "meant" should probably be
here[/b] will be answered here..." and "He watched as a dragon and a VERY unkempt woman a dragon march past the bar's doorway." He is also many times too repetitive and in a way that doesn't make him sound too smart "He winced painfully as a ringing thoughtspeak rang in his mind, shuddering at the echo in his ears.. It should be more like "He winced at a thoughtspeak now ringing in his mind" also What is the deal with the "shuddering at the echo in his ears" Isn't it a thoughtspeak? therefore the pain should be only in his mind.... Again "I beam from a lump of concrete, which the vampire-distracted as he was-walked headlong into. He removed his hand from his hairline, on which was now a dark red stain. He had sustained a rather painful cut from the sharp edges of the jagged metal.." Where is his cohesiveness? I thought it was a lump of concerete he hit? Is concrete a metal? Evanguard is supposed to be a Vampire Mage right? which is okay, why is he then sometimes referred to as "Vampire Priest" which is one of the worst oxymorons I've heard. Zerokun the cyber warrior can use telepathy? I thought telepathy was limited to living beings? He should have used Radio or something instead... The way he expresses himself is not very accurate as shown here "So he entered the bar, took one look around and observed some of the most ruthless people he had ever seen," The only was to know a person is ruthless is just that, to know them. He should have used the word "rowdy" or something. Your story is plagued by poor expression and grammar. Not to mention the fact that it's been going so long and I can't see any point to it. How come some of your posters refer to themselves in first person and some in third? Where's the cohesion? You guys need to get more organized... Also the legendary sword thing has been over-done since zelda for NES GOODNESS GRIEF!!

PS. ( There is so much bad grammar and wording in this thing that you can't call it nitpicking, I just don't have the will or time or reason to write a serious critique of this thing, it might also hurt some ppl feelings... )

Carigamers · « **Reply #19 on:** December 31, 2003, 04:51:19 AM »

Author Topic: comments on the anime story (Read 5808 times)

Carigamers

Anonymous

The_Dark_Goddess

Carigamers

The_Dark_Goddess

The_Dark_Goddess

Polios

The_Dark_Goddess

Carigamers

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