Author Topic: Just a Joke  (Read 214080 times)

Offline W1nTry

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #560 on: February 07, 2007, 08:31:37 AM »
MUHAHAHAH @ those lions.

that should be a chain mail.
Actually it was :p

Carigamers

Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #560 on: February 07, 2007, 08:31:37 AM »

Offline Cross

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #561 on: February 07, 2007, 10:05:28 AM »
As I saw these lions...

Two lions broke loose in the zoo and were eating a clown.
One lion said to the other ...
"Does this taste funny to you?"

LOL AHAHA short and old but still good


Trouble in this place tonight........BAN....KAI

Offline SeXiE_ToY

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #562 on: February 08, 2007, 12:08:14 PM »
A 17 year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drug store and buys a pregnancy test. The test is positive. Shouting, swearing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the bastard that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.


Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father and the mother and tells them:

Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her two retail stores, a warehouse, a beach-front villa and a $2,000,000 bank account.

"He continues:
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However..., if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

"You f*%k her again..."

Offline W1nTry

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #563 on: February 08, 2007, 01:03:48 PM »
I saw that coming LMAO!!!

In advance, no offense to any barbados nationals in the forum...

4 men went for an interview for a job opening: A British, an American, Bajan (I hope thats how its spelt) and a Trini.
Interviewer: "Tell me what is the fastest thing on earth"
Englishman: "Well sir, a blink is the fastest thing on earth, cause sometimes you don't even realize it but you blink, like the saying in the blink of an eye"
Interviewer: "Hmm I never thought about that, great answer" *scribbles down notes by the englishmans name*
Bajan: "Well I say THOUGHT is the fastest thing of earth, because sometimes you're not even concentrating on something and a thought pops into your head, thought must be the fastest!"
Interview: "That's a great answer! I never even 'THOUGHT' about that!" *scribbles down something next to the Bajans name*
American: "Well I recon electricity is the fastest thing on earth, cause on my ranch back in texas when I flip the switch when the sun goes down, the whole fence lights up and thats pretty darn far, so electricty gotta be the fastest!"
Interviewer: "Yet another brilliant response!" *scribbles down notes next to americans name*
Trini: *thinks how he gonna best the others....* "I have it!"
Interviewer: "Well what is it?"
Trini: "A diarrhoea!"
Interviewer: "What? how can a diarrhoea possibly be the fastest thing on earth?"
Trini: "Well yuh see, I eat a doubles yesterday morning and when I was goin to sleep meh stomach start to gripe"
Interviewer: "AND?"
Trini: "AND... before I could blink, think or put on the light switch...... :)"

Offline W1nTry

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #564 on: February 08, 2007, 01:14:10 PM »

YEARS later, after the Vietnam war the same 4 men above coming home on a 4 prop airplane to retire after about 2 hrs into the flight over the atlantic, 1 propellar fails...
Pilot: "Sorry gentlemen, but we have some bad news, we've lost an engine... but there is some good news, we can still make it home if 1 of you jumps...unfortunately there are no paracheuts so you will definitely die"
Englishman: "Well, i've lived a good life and the gentlemanly thing to do is to take my leave, FOR THE QUEEN" *Englishman falls to his death...
1 hr later another engine dies...
Pilot: "I must apologize, but we seem to have lost a 2nd engine... the good news is we can still make it... but as last time 1 of you must jump..."
American: "I have never feared dying for my comrades, FOR THE RED WHITE AND BLUE!" *American leaps to his demise*
4 hrs later with 15 mins left to touchdown yet another engine fails....
Pilot: "Well by now you know the drill, we got 1 engine left and we can make it on 1, but 1 of you have got to go...."
*Trini and Bajan both get up and eye each other sternly*
Trini: "Ah well... when its ur time, is yuh time, FOR TRINIDAD" *Pushes the Bajan out the plane*

Carigamers

Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #564 on: February 08, 2007, 01:14:10 PM »

Offline SeXiE_ToY

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #565 on: February 08, 2007, 01:38:19 PM »
LOL W1ntry...good one..

This is Trinidad for you...
A man walked into KFC and
"passed out" on the floor. People gathered around to help him by
fanning and doing everything they could to help him regain
consciousness.
Someone peeled an orange and started squeezing the juice into his
mouth, whereupon the man suddenly came back to life, pushed the person
away and yelled, "if ah did want orange, ah woulda fall down in de market."

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #566 on: February 09, 2007, 04:27:27 PM »
LOL i like that one

check this, yuh need to click filexoom giveing trouble again...

Isn't he a beeeeeeauty...

Offline Spazosaurus

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #567 on: February 10, 2007, 08:18:33 PM »
A Jamaican and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue,

and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the

road. When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The Jamaican explodes and demands to know why the

charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly

aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the Jamaican insists on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears,

listens to the Jamaican, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic- sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the

Jamaican and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them", the Jamaican complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. The Manager goes on to

explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las

Vegas perform here," the Manager says. "But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the Jamaican again. "Well, we have them, and you

could have", the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the Jamaican replies, "But we didn't use it!" The Manager is

unmoved, and eventually the Jamaican gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised

when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100." "That's right," says Jamaican. "I charged you $250 for

sleeping with my wife." "But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager. "Well," the Jamaican replies, "she was here, and you could have!! 

Offline Spazosaurus

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #568 on: February 10, 2007, 08:25:03 PM »
Long time ago this man went to war and lost one of his testicles. So when he returned to the village everyone was calling him “one stone”. He,

after a long period of teasing, swore that the next time anyone call him that he’s kill them. Years passed and one day  Yellow bird saw him and

was like, “ aye one stone ”..on hearing this he got really angry . He carried her into the forest and made love to her over and over until she

eventually died. Months later he saw her sister blue bird and she was like,”aye one stone ”…he got furious ,took her into the forest and made

love to her over and over…days passed. He was baffles and asked her, “family what going on ” and she said , “ boy like you don’t know , you

cant kill two birds with one stone ”


Offline W1nTry

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #569 on: February 12, 2007, 10:04:16 AM »
Chakra for YOU!!!

Offline EmpireKing

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #570 on: February 12, 2007, 10:10:57 AM »
weyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy HAHAHAHA
Guess who's back. Not me. :|

Offline SeXiE_ToY

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #571 on: February 12, 2007, 01:30:20 PM »
LOL @ The_Unknown..

-Shupid Guyanese
A Trini guy, a Guyanese man, a beautiful girl and an old woman are
sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and .. it
gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a
slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The old woman, beautiful girl
and the Trini guy are sitting there looking perplexed. The Guyanese is
bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.
1. The old woman is thinking : That Guyanese guy must have tried to
kiss that girl and got slapped.
The Guyanese is thinking : "Damn it,that Trini guy must have tried to
kiss the beautiful girl, she
thought it was me and slapped me instead."
The beautiful girl is thinking : "That Guyanese must have moved to
kiss me,but kissed the old lady instead and got slapped."
The Trini is thinking: "If this train goes through another tunnel, I
could make another kissing sound and slap that Guyanese again. (no offence to Guyanese members)

Offline Jarrox

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #572 on: February 12, 2007, 02:17:41 PM »
lol i like that one
1f U C4n R34d Th1s U R34lly N33d 70 G3t L41d!!!..

Offline SeXiE_ToY

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #573 on: February 12, 2007, 08:47:37 PM »
I was messing around in google images and i came across this... lol

-click on the thumbnail and read...

Offline Nephilim

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #574 on: February 12, 2007, 08:59:25 PM »
LOL at Shupid Guyanese

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #575 on: February 12, 2007, 09:41:52 PM »
Gwen met Randy at a nightclub. They hit it off, so she invited him back to her place. When they arrived at her house, they went right for the bedroom.

Randy noticed hundreds of stuffed animals scattered throughout the room. Giant stuffed animals sat on top of the wardrobe. Slightly smaller stuffed animals sat on the window sill. Many tiny stuffed animals sat on the bottom shelf of her bookcase.

After they had sex, Randy turned to her and said, "So ... how was I?" "Well," Gwen said, "you can take anything from the bottom shelf."



Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:

"Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"
« Last Edit: February 13, 2007, 02:02:34 PM by vivman1107 »

Offline daniboy79

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #576 on: February 13, 2007, 05:19:36 PM »
A gas station in West Virginia was trying to increase its sales, so
the owner put up a sign reading, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for
his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he
guessed correctly, he would get his 'free sex'.

The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were
close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with his buddy, Bubba, pulled
in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor
again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it
was 4. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think
that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged-----my wife
won twice last week!"

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Offline SeXiE_ToY

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #577 on: February 13, 2007, 07:23:03 PM »
LOL @ daniboy79 & The_Unknown

-The Cow and Pig Dilema
Why married?
Why Buy the Cow.
for all men who say, "why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free.
Here is an update for you. Nowadays, 80%
of Women are against marriage why?
Because women realize it's not worth
buying an entire, Pig" just to get a little sausage.

Offline Spazosaurus

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #578 on: February 13, 2007, 07:37:13 PM »
LOL @ daniboy79 & The_Unknown

-The Cow and Pig Dilema
Why married?
Why Buy the Cow.
for all men who say, "why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free.
Here is an update for you. Nowadays, 80%
of Women are against marriage why?
Because women realize it's not worth
buying an entire, Pig" just to get a little sausage.

Some will argue that there's nothing little about our sausage, as it will be in abundance, hence the need to buy the entire pig.

Offline SeXiE_ToY

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Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #579 on: February 13, 2007, 07:40:08 PM »
LOL @ daniboy79 & The_Unknown

-The Cow and Pig Dilema
Why married?
Why Buy the Cow.
for all men who say, "why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free.
Here is an update for you. Nowadays, 80%
of Women are against marriage why?
Because women realize it's not worth
buying an entire, Pig" just to get a little sausage.

Some will argue that there's nothing little about our sausage, as it will be in abundance, hence the need to buy the entire pig.
LMAO.... you like sh1t  eh

Carigamers

Re: Just a Joke
« Reply #579 on: February 13, 2007, 07:40:08 PM »

 


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