Just a Joke

[EmpireKing]

ok to get serious wit u

            THINGS MY TRINI MOTHER TAUGHT ME
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING. "Yuh go get ah good cut ass when we get home!"
My Mother taught me CONSEQUENCES. "If yuh run across de road an' ah car lick yu dong, ah goin' kill yuh wid licks."
My Mother taught me THE VALUE OF EDUCATION. "If yuh doh go to school, yuh go pick up garbage on de street."


    COVA YUH EYES Cpimp

Trini Classic

This is a true Trini Classic....at least we have a great sense of humor!
The TnT government announced today that it is changing its emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects the government's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pr1cks, and gives you a sense of security while it's actually screwing you.
 

[vivman1107]

The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.

[Cross]

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and
started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man
kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity
and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why
did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with
your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've
ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"The
mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first
husband."

[Spazosaurus]

Huh? What? Zwing!!

[W1nTry]

LMAO THAT REAL BAD!!!! you don't get it Unknown?

[vivman1107]

President Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul up, Clinton was sent to heaven and the Pope gets sent to hell. The Pope explained the situation to the devil, he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it would take about 24 hours to fix the problem and correct the error. The next day, the Pope was called in and the devil said his good-bye as he went off to heaven. On his way up, he met Clinton who was on his way down, and they stopped to chat.

Pope: "Sorry about the mix up."

President Clinton: "No problem."

Pope: "Well, I'm really excited about going to heaven."

President Clinton: "Why's that? It's not that great."

Pope: "All my life I've wanted to meet the Virgin Mary."

President Clinton: "Sorry, Your Holiness, You're a day late."

[New Era Outlaw]

http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/flightschool.asp


...in case you're wondering what's so funny about the picture, read the signs next to the plane crash carefully. Man, I hope that's not going to put a dent in their reputation....

[Spazosaurus]

Well it should'nt affect the school that much, according to the article, the plane lost power. Depending on the reason why it lost power, the school will be thrown in a bad light. If it was an engine fault, then no scene, but if it was pilot error, oohhhh boy.....thats not the place to learn to fly!!! Thankfully he came out unscaved though.

[vivman1107]

Why is a man like a snowstorm?

Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.

[Nephilim]

[SeXiE_ToY]

*joke deleted*

Mod Edit: Sorry. The joke was pretty funny, I'l give you that, but it's still NSFW. Please refer to the rules in the Newbie section.


   

[W1nTry]

LMAO... very reminiscent of the 'a man walks into a bar" joke from Desperado!

[vivman1107]

How is a woman like a condom?

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your d!^#.

[Apprentice]

ways i was real off if i did try to even guess that one..buh da one was interesting not funny jus like a nod yuh head kinda joke..like yea....not all woman so tho..i know da cause wen i broken...i does jus ask mom for money...w8...wonder if is pops cash that i does be getting whilst she keeps hers...i'm gonna hold that thought...

[Cross]

A guy and a girl meet at a bar.

They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.

He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."

The guy, surprised, says "Yes!  How did you figure that out?"

"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."

One thing led to another and they make love.

After they were done the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

[vivman1107]

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

[Cross]

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

lol he's a fool! gravity takes place eventually and those bigg....things will become a nightmare

[vivman1107]

A guy walks into a bar.

Guy: "Hey, barkeeper, give me a beer."

Barkeeper: "Tell you what, if you can make that horse out there laugh, I will give you a free beer and $500."

So the guy walks outside and whispers to the horse. The horse laughs. The guy walks back in.

Guy: "Where's my $500 and free beer?"

Barkeeper: "Alright, double or nothing says you can't make that horse cry."

The guy walks outside again. The barkeep chuckles to himself as he's cleaning a glass and misses what the guy does, but he hears the horse crying. The guy comes back in.

Guy: "Alright, where's my $1000 and two free beers?"

Barkeeper: "What did you say to make the horse laugh?"

Guy : "I told him I have a bigger penis than him."

Barkeeper: "What did you do to make him cry?"

Guy: "I showed him."

[W1nTry]

Wow I haven't heard a joke like that in FOREVER... talk about old school iwmc!

[Red Paradox]

LOL that was funny as hell

Here's one

7 kinds of sex

 

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

 

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

 

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time, your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom

 

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for too long.  When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you”. 

 

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex

Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

 

The 6th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex

This is when you cannot stand your wife anymore.  She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone

 

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex

You get a little each month, but not enough to live on.