Just a Joke

[W1nTry]

Chakra for you DREAD!!! www.getahoe.com LMAO!!!

[Crixx_Creww]

lol and omfg @ molestation nursery ahahahahah

and lollll the rapist finder ahhahah

[vivman1107]

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.

Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."

[W1nTry]

This applies to the PRESENT PS3 vs. 360 vs. Wii scenario... its real kix
http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=212

[Cross]

I think this sums it up in a nutshell

[Qloxx]

I would laugh but it's so true

[Synchronomyst]

Yeah. I actually can't laugh at that either because of how scarily accurate that is.

[New Era Outlaw]

Ah, Mr. Potatomoto. What an inventive spud thou art be.

Anyhoo.

Introducing Microsoft Firefox!

[Red Paradox]

Introducing Microsoft Firefox!

I don't get it

[Spazosaurus]

Yeah, NEO, you're a couple days late on the Microsoft Firefox thing. It's aleady in another thread.

[Red Paradox]

LOL
no it's not that......I didn't get the joke....I'm confused

[New Era Outlaw]

Ah, well. Can't win 'em all.
And Flip, I'm taking it that you didn't read the fine print.

[Jarrox]

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that
took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing
7.5, and Racing 3.6

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't
work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

______________________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and
Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.
It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system
once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this.
Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.
I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program
Nag Nag 9.5.  Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance
of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3 or Old Girlfriend 4.0.
These applications are not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

[Red Paradox]

LOL....Wife 1.0 sounds like Sevice Pack 2, f***ed up!

[Nephilim]

aye i have a prob, Old Girlfriend 4.0, does mess with Girlfriend 7.0 too, how to fix? Also Girlfriend 7.0 seems to launch Nag Nag 9.5, right after RING 1.0 beta, i though it couldn't do that! if i can't uninstall, can i get a virus like PLAYBOY to get rid of it?

[Jarrox]

can i get a virus like PLAYBOY

PLAYBOY is not a virus big man.... that would be a screensaver...  after Girlfriend 7.0 launches Nag Nag 9.5 chances are you would press the wrong keys and have to launch PLAYBOY later....

why would you want to go back to Girlfriend 4.0? like Tech support said "The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway"

iz better u just get the 3rd party software like Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0  to help stablize Girlfriend 7.0

[Nephilim]

hmmmm i guess ah shoulda get the service pack fuh gf7.0 maybe that would help? after the money dish out  to get gf 7.0 running i eh have nun left over for the 3rd party
like is M$ writing these women .... i mean ....software these days

[vivman1107]

Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "24 Hours! Thats terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

[Jarrox]

Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:

"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[Nephilim]

LOL. i agree.