Good morning ladies and gentlemen.
I regret to inform thee that after countless lustful years, I've had to break off my relationship with Ms. Elisha Cuthbert. She will always have a special place in my heart and "other" places, however as a wise man once told me; "when yuh throw away your KFC, you don't go in the dustbin for de bones"
I've decide to take Ms. Scarlett Johansson as my new "sig". She is sexy, intelligent, sexy (x 2) and she is a class omega uber-hottie. Thank you for allowing me this broadcast because honestly I'm bored as f*** at work and I wanted to talk s***.
I'll return you to your regularly scheduled program.