Things that make you go WTMC?!?!?

[Crixx_Creww]

Federal Bureau Of Investigation
From: FBI (report@fbi.gov)
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Sent:
Tue 10/28/08 10:47 PM
Reply-to:
federalbureauof-investigationgov.org@live.com

To:
 



ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
TEL/FAX 202 386 6756
Website: www.fbi.gov
 
ATTN: BENEFICIARY.
 
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Zenith Bank and some impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation agents and EFCC and ICPC. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
 
So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by coordinating your payment in the total amount of $800,000.00 USD which will be deposited into an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw funds anywhe Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been involved in this transaction, you are now to be rest assured that this transaction is legitimate and completely risk-free as it is our duty to Protect and Serve citizens of the United States Of America.
 
All you have to do is immediately contact the ATM CARD CENTER via E-mail for instructions on how to procure your Approval Slip which contains details on how to receive and activate your ATM CARD for immediate use to withdraw funds being paid to you. We have confirmed that the amount required to procure the Approval Slip will cost you a total of $300 USD which will be paid directly to the ATM CARD CENTER agent via Western Union Money Transfer / MoneyGram Money Transfer. Below, you shall find contact details of the Agent whom will process your transaction from Federal Minister of Finance:
 
CONTACT INFORMATION FEDERAL MINISTER OF FINANCE.
ATM CARD CENTRE
NAME: MR. PAUL SMITH
HOT LINE:+234-802-962-2955
EMAIL:  federalministryoffinance-nig@hotmail.com
 
Immediately contact Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM Card Centre with the following information:
 
Full Name: Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Direct Phone Number:
Current Occupation:
 
Once you have sent the required information to Mr. Paul Smith he will contact you with instructions on how to make the payment of $300 USD for the Approval Slip after which he will proceed towards delivery of the ATM CARD without any further delay.
 
You have hereby been authorized/guaranteed by the Federal Bureau Of Investigation to commence towards completing this transaction, as there shall be NO delay once payment for the Approval Slip has been made to the authorized agent.
 
Once you have completed payment of $300 to the agent in charge of this transaction, immediately contact us back for more investigation for conformation of your ATM card. The both offices are working 24hours to get this project complete.
 
Federal Bureau Investigation
 
Robert S. Mueller III
 
Director, FBI





ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I MUST ADMIT WHEN I FIRST SAW IN MY JUNK BOX, REPORT FROM FBI.. I WAS LIKE UH HUH
THEN I SAW THE EMAIL ADDRESS I WAS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ZOMG I SWEARZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SHE WAS FLIKKIN OVER 18!!!!!!!

then upon reading it ahahah rofls ensued. lol these people yes

[Redlum08]

ROFL!! Just the first couple sentences with the BAD english hints to SCAM! Why do they bother...

[Crixx_Creww]

buh dey gettin real serious doh

dem men spoofing fbi email address an domain yes wayyy dem brave lol

[Kraeoss]

The truth is out there.....

[Saxito Pau]

forward spoof to real FBI, Crixx.

- having a maxed out credit card to pay off by Friday and debtors giving you the run around. One debtor in particular owes enough to cover the cost on card.

[Crixx_Creww]

black man talking to popo ... of his own accord... hmmmmmmmmmmm....

[pablo_tt]

-WTMC when a client brings in a PC cuz of a power supply problem. Upon opening said PC, everything is blackened (with what I first thought was dust). Upon further investigation I actually discovered it was soot! Contacted the client and informed him with my findings. His response:


"Oh yes, I also forgot to mention there was a really nasty power surge the other day"


 



EDIT: Oh yea, jus got another one jus now. Claims the power supply has stopped working. Inspect the PSU and notices the supply's switch in the off position. I flick it on and Bam! PC boots up. Customer's response:

"Oh ho! Yuh know I was wondering if this switch had anything to do with it........"


 

I have pics of these systems, will upload them when I get home

[Kraeoss]

good customers lol... like some tech staff in organizations with branches in remote areas.... imagine driving for 2-3 hrs to a location to turn on a switch cause all the ppl there clueless about computers lol....

[W1nTry]

Classical Id10t, you should have cleaned it, tell him you replaced it and charged him as such. You can't solve stupidity, but that doesn't mean you can't charge for it XD

[Saxito Pau]

Allyuh ent have jack on the [insert preferred expletives here] I does go thru in trying to be a reputable PC techie.
 
Just look back at all my WTMC posts, or I can give you examples

Take Kreaoss' situation:

good customers lol... like some tech staff in organizations with branches in remote areas.... imagine driving for 2-3 hrs to a location to turn on a switch cause all the ppl there clueless about computers lol....

now add "then the customer started quarreling because they fine $150, inclusive of VAT, is too high a charge!"

.. that is what I get.

In fact it happened Friday last when I i diagnosed a loose printer cable and they get on for $150. The secretary ask me, "$150 just to plug in a cable?"

I was already in a bad mood and not about to explain again that the fact I even showed my face at their door in response to their call constitutes a charge and just watch her in her face and told her "yes".

This when a computer company is just 20 paces walk from their front door...

[Crixx_Creww]

just to plug in a cable?
no
the service was free, but i had to apply an i d 10 T tax. because yu obviously couldnt "just plug in the cable"

Anyone ever spent 2 hours on a phone attempting to explain to someone that the thing they are looking at on the screen is called the desktop, and if you could please double click the icon on it for me?

[Kraeoss]

lol...

[Redlum08]

WTMC - I just realized that the tube in my Sig connected to my Xbox live account changes color based on the game I last played O_o

[Arcmanov]

This one qualifies more as a 'WTF!!?' but WTMC will do very nicely...



To see more of this @$$, and its owner, please click here.

Y'all have a good day now, y'hear...

[pablo_tt]

*Insert Eminem's @$$ like that*

O_o

*Flees with diquez petroleum jelly & "heh" cloth*

[daniboy79]

This one qualifies more as a 'WTF!!?' but WTMC will do very nicely...



To see more of this @$$, and its owner, please click here.

Y'all have a good day now, y'hear...

Lovely!! great way to start out my day ...thanks Arc!

[Saxito Pau]

Ok enough messing around with my health:

remember the pains I was getting 2 weeks ago after a football game?

I get up this morning and now they are in my RIGHT leg!!

I am scared.. doctor like wind today...

[Kraeoss]

the ass is great.... but damn thaz a beast face lol.... why she couldna have a RNB star-type face

[Crixx_Creww]

*Insert Eminem's @$$ like that*

O_o

*Flees with diquez petroleum jelly & "heh" cloth*

.... thats.... scary... this morning after i got to work, rushed to the bathroom to drain the anaconda and upon entering said bathroom, detected the distinct smell of diquez.... slowly backed out of bathroom, not wanting to find out what was going on...

[Kraeoss]

lol... hmmmm u lucky.... u coulda been scarred for life if u got there earlier