Author Topic: Just a Joke (Read 213874 times)

Red Paradox · « **Reply #440 on:** September 12, 2006, 09:13:12 AM »

Dat was funny take some chakura for dat!

Carigamers · « **Reply #440 on:** September 12, 2006, 09:13:12 AM »

W1nTry · « **Reply #441 on:** September 12, 2006, 10:49:43 AM »

LOL interesting, but umm neo, maybe a thumbnail???

vivman1107 · « **Reply #442 on:** September 12, 2006, 12:07:59 PM »

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?

Branch Manager.

Spazosaurus · « **Reply #443 on:** September 12, 2006, 12:21:44 PM »

Lol for real he gets everything done without even saying a word. Gotta give the man his props.

New Era Outlaw · « **Reply #444 on:** September 12, 2006, 01:35:36 PM »

Quote from: vivman1107 on September 12, 2006, 12:07:59 PM

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a briefcase?

Branch Manager.

Carigamers · « **Reply #444 on:** September 12, 2006, 01:35:36 PM »

vivman1107 · « **Reply #445 on:** September 12, 2006, 01:45:26 PM »

I am backing away.

EmpireKing · « **Reply #446 on:** September 12, 2006, 08:12:44 PM »

wats the difference between micheal jackson an ah plastic bag

One is made outta plastic an harmful to children.....the other is ah bag
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Allyuh eva hear d joke bout d bed?
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It eh make up yet.............LOL
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wah yuh does get wen yuh put macaronis on top of ah bible
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A pasta(pastor)
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A family of tomatoes running down d street...d small tomato falls behind cuz he slow.....guess wat d fadda tomato say...
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Ketch-up..............HAHAHAHAHA

more stlae jokes to come

vivman1107 · « **Reply #447 on:** September 14, 2006, 08:51:32 AM »

Why was the blondes' belly button sore?

Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Red Paradox · « **Reply #448 on:** September 14, 2006, 08:55:01 AM »

LOL
Jah boy!

that's f***ed up

vivman1107 · « **Reply #449 on:** September 14, 2006, 09:16:01 AM »

I apologize in advance and feel free to remove if it is deemed offensive.

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Adam and Eve, but couldn't find them. Later in the day God saw Adam and asked where he and Eve were earlier.

Adam said, "This morning Eve and I made love for the first time."

God said, "Adam, you have sinned. I knew this would happen. Where is Eve now?"

Adam replied, "She's down at the river, washing herself out."

"Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell funny."

Red Paradox · « **Reply #450 on:** September 14, 2006, 09:55:16 AM »

Oh my God...that was jacked up....LOL
take some chakura
Haven't heard something fresh like that in awhile

ProtoJoe · « **Reply #451 on:** September 14, 2006, 12:29:46 PM »

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Trinitus · « **Reply #452 on:** September 14, 2006, 02:21:51 PM »

STOPPPP STOPPP IS TOOOOO MUCH@!!!!! HAHAAHAHHA

EmpireKing · « **Reply #453 on:** September 14, 2006, 07:54:22 PM »

heard most of those already but funny anyway

New Era Outlaw · « **Reply #454 on:** September 14, 2006, 08:54:11 PM »

Oh, whoa. Way too risque for these forums, man. Pretty funny, though, but I've got to do my job. Sorry, man.

EmpireKing · « **Reply #455 on:** September 14, 2006, 09:12:31 PM »

LOL all of them ....GONE in 60seconds

New Era Outlaw · « **Reply #456 on:** September 15, 2006, 06:40:51 AM »

Nah, not all of them. I left the Adam and Eve one behind.
See? I'm a nice human being.

Now to obtain nourishment by absorbing the rays of your planet's su-
I mean, have breakfast. Apples. YES. Normal APPLES. NORMAL.

<__<

Red Paradox · « **Reply #457 on:** September 15, 2006, 07:57:45 AM »

Quote from: ProtoJoe on September 14, 2006, 12:29:46 PM

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

That's messed up dude...LOL
Take some chakura

vivman1107 · « **Reply #458 on:** September 15, 2006, 08:27:01 AM »

Sorry bout that guys. If I get any more I will post the PG-rated ones although those have less of a kick, IMHO.

Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

Litte Susie thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"

Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"

After God had created Adam he noticed that he looked very lonely. He decided to help.

He said "Adam, I've decided to make you a woman. She'll love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and understand you."

Adam said "Great! How much will she cost me?"

The answer came back, "An arm and a leg."

"Well," said Adam "what can I get for a rib?"

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

Mother to daughter advice:

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."

A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"

Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside ..."

Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"

Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."

Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"

In Computer Heaven:

The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.

In Computer Hell:

The management is from Apple,
Microsoft does design and construction,
IBM handles the marketing,
The support is from Gateway,
Intel sets the price.

Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.

Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.
Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.
DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.
Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

If Windows is the solution, can we please have the problem back?

Windows 95: The first program, having its best-before-date include in its name.

!rotinom ruoy edisni kcuts m'I ,pleH

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

Pregnant.

What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?

Data transfer.

How does a blonde kill a fish?

She drowns it ...

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

You can park in the handicapped spots.

How do you get a blonde on the roof?

Tell her drinks are on the house.

Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

Because it said 'concentrate'.

What's the Blonde's cheer?

"I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N. ... ah, oh well ... I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea ..."

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ...?"

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replies in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage. He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes." He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses." The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?" The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

Two guys were in a bar watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge that was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy.

"Bet you $10 he won't," replied the second. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first his money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news."

"No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

A man had his credit card stolen. He however decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

New Era Outlaw · « **Reply #459 on:** September 15, 2006, 09:59:35 AM »

Eh, it's no problem. You could always link them (if possible) with a NSFW tag anyway, if anything.

Carigamers · « **Reply #459 on:** September 15, 2006, 09:59:35 AM »

Author Topic: Just a Joke (Read 213874 times)

Carigamers

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