Author Topic: Just a Joke (Read 213286 times)

Heady · « **Reply #420 on:** August 16, 2006, 12:27:19 PM »

SUPERMAN GOT PWNED

Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."
The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent!".

Carigamers · « **Reply #420 on:** August 16, 2006, 12:27:19 PM »

EmpireKing · « **Reply #421 on:** August 16, 2006, 01:16:19 PM »

chuckle

W1nTry · « **Reply #422 on:** August 17, 2006, 12:01:30 PM »

How Orochomaru REALLY caught Sasuke

Need I say more?

EmpireKing · « **Reply #423 on:** August 17, 2006, 03:16:30 PM »

thats betterr

W1nTry · « **Reply #424 on:** August 23, 2006, 10:08:04 AM »

The 'unsigthly' solution to airport security worries: (Possibly NSFW for partially censored nudity)

http://img170.imageshack.us/my.php?image=asprocedureszl4.jpg

Imagine this is from an airline website?

0_o
http://www.ryanair.com/site/EN/notices.php?notice=060822-ASP-EN

Carigamers · « **Reply #424 on:** August 23, 2006, 10:08:04 AM »

New Era Outlaw · « **Reply #425 on:** August 23, 2006, 10:19:06 AM »

Would you believe I keep telling people that's what we'll end up resorting to in the airports?
Blasted terrorist mcs ruining it for everyone. Doesn't prevent cavity searches, though. >__<

Anyhoo, had to remove the image. Some parts of that picture managed to escape censoring, and somebody can raise an eyebrow to that picture. Left the link so people can still see it, though.

ProtoJoe · « **Reply #426 on:** August 25, 2006, 12:40:44 AM »

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologising for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

EmpireKing · « **Reply #427 on:** August 25, 2006, 07:12:56 AM »

thats sad.......................hahahahahahahahahahaha

W1nTry · « **Reply #428 on:** August 25, 2006, 08:36:00 AM »

LMAO I KNEW this joke would be like that. I read something similar a while back... I have a fart joke:

In a retirement home there was this one old man (George) whom didn't say much and talked to even less. Everyday the nurse would escort him from his room and place him to sit in the gallery to take in a sunset.
One day the nurse put him to watch the sunset as she always had, but noticed he was leaning to one side.
Thinking that it would not be good for him to sit like that in his old age with whatever back problems he may have she promptly put him straight.
She went about her normal duties in the mean while only to return and see him leaning to the other side.
Again she sat him up straight.
This went on for some time with him only leaning to the left or right and the nurse sitting him straight.
Eventually another elderly individual joined the old man to watch the sunset (Junior).
So the Junior asked George : "what's wrong, you seem troubled, why be troubled when there is such a lovely sunset'
George replied: "That %^&king nurse keep sitting meh up straight when I trying to rip one"

W1nTry · « **Reply #429 on:** August 25, 2006, 08:51:53 AM »

Longman the bookwriter (you know Longman books?) and Shakespeare met each other at the gates of heaven.
St. Peter: I'm sorry but there isn't room for 2 literary geniuses in heaven atm i'm afraid, 1 of you is going to have to wait.
Shakespeare: How about we have a contest to see who gets in first?
St. Peter: That seems fair, what do you all propose?
Shakespeare: Well we'll have a poem content and you'll (St. Peter) will decide the winner, the topic can be anything you want it to be.
Longman: Agreed
St. Peter: Very well then.... tell me a poem about timbucktu
Longman: I travelled cross a distant land, I came upon a sea of sand, a caravan came passing through, it's destination timbucktu.
St. Peter: Brilliant... Willaim your retort?
Shakespeare: Friend tim and I a hunting went, speid three maidens in a tent, since they were 3 and we were 2, I buck 1 and timbucktu
St. Peter: Genius... that was too close to call... how about another poem?
Shakespeare & Longman: Agreed
St. Peter: Tell me a poem about a bow legged man
Longman: hmmm... *ponders for a moment*, Across the bridge and down the road, there walks a man who's legs are bowed.
St. Peter: Not bad, not bad
Shakespeare: *frowns.... and ponders for a while*, WHAT HO WHAT SORT OF MAN IS THIS WHO'S B@LLS ARE FRAMED IN PARENTHESIS!

Guess who won

EmpireKing · « **Reply #430 on:** August 25, 2006, 01:16:28 PM »

Ah fella was walking down Fredrick Street when he saw a young boy with one bob in his left ear, and one bob in the right ear, and moving his head as if listening to music. So the fella stops the boy.

"Young boy. So tell meh, why is it yuh have 2 bobs in yuh ears?"

The reply?

"Ah listening to 50 cent."

Spazosaurus · « **Reply #431 on:** August 25, 2006, 02:30:03 PM »

*slightest of chuckles*

Heady · « **Reply #432 on:** August 25, 2006, 04:58:10 PM »

Funny Clip trini RMK

http://www.badongo.com/file/1291198

BeoBear · « **Reply #433 on:** August 25, 2006, 08:11:21 PM »

lol alyuh fellas does kill meh.

EmpireKing · « **Reply #434 on:** August 26, 2006, 12:03:09 PM »

Time to minus d chakra
USA vs TNT

USA: Such tasteful Hors d'heurves, sumptuous finger foods, wow!
TnT: Whuddy ass is dis? Whey de blasted food?

USA: Here Kitty kitty.. get down from the roof.
TnT: Ey yuh ole dutty stinkin cyat, come off de bleddy gyalvanize
before ah drop two stone in yuh ass!

USA: Aren't those pants a bit short?
TnT: Yuh expekin flood or wha?

USA: Sir, please don't throw my luggage like that.
TnT: Buh wha trouble is dis? Boy st! op flingin meh grip so.

USA: Lift the hood of the car for me John.
TnT: Yute-man, fly de bonnet nuh!

USA: I love you girl.
TnT: Ah rell check fuh yuh, yuh know.

USA: Oh the poor little boy is handicap.
TnT: Look at de lil invalid...

USA: It's time for a perm.
TnT: Gyul , yuh head need straightenin bad. Yuh doh see all de
gren-gren showin.

USA: I have a stomach ache.
TnT: Oh gorm..............meh belly gripein meh.

USA: He has no manners.
TnT: He doh have no broughtupcy.

USA: WOW!...........he ! has such a bad body odor
TnT: Yuh doesn't bade?.......oh shit man...... yuh smellin stink!

USA: Josh is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder.
TnT: Dat chile too dam harden.

USA: He has a touch of Dyslexia.
TnT: He duncee fuh so.

USA: I need a bottle of Peptobismol...my stomach hurts.
TnT: Ah need ah purge bad...ah cork up.

USA: It's been a long time since I've seen you girl.
TnT: A..A...! You still alive gyul?

USA: Oh my goodness, we have lost electricity.
TnT: Jeezanages!!......current gorn again.

USA: This meal is not too bad.
TnT: ! Wha doh kill does fatten and wha doh fatten does purge.

USA: Oh my, your feet are so ashy.
TnT: Is how yuh foot and dem look like yuh was kickin flour

so...yuh couldn't a rub lil coconut oil on yuh foot?

W1nTry · « **Reply #435 on:** August 29, 2006, 09:09:52 AM »

Dread... this HAVE To be a joke.. this is just RI$%^&ingdiculous... talk about laziness to the EXTREME and we have rockstar to thank for this.

EmpireKing · « **Reply #436 on:** August 29, 2006, 12:02:12 PM »

hahaha

Narcissus · « **Reply #437 on:** August 29, 2006, 12:49:31 PM »

at least they standin...tha counts fuh some exercise

vivman1107 · « **Reply #438 on:** September 04, 2006, 12:07:41 PM »

Chuck Norris was the first one to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

New Era Outlaw · « **Reply #439 on:** September 11, 2006, 09:34:27 PM »

Visit this guy. NOW. Or Santa won't bring you any presents this year.
http://www.hlcomic.com

Carigamers · « **Reply #439 on:** September 11, 2006, 09:34:27 PM »

Author Topic: Just a Joke (Read 213286 times)

Carigamers

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