Just a Joke

[Narcissus]

Mr. Prime Minister"

The Prime Minister Mr. Basdeo Panday was getting fed up with Oma so he end up looking fuh a lil george street hoe. He end up finding 3 quality prostitutes (angels of the night if you will) in a local lounge near smokey and bunty..... an Indian, a Chinee and an African.

So.......Hear yuh boy panday pipsin the indian chic, "I am the Prime Minister of T&T how much
would it cost me to spend sometime with you?" $200 she replied


So then he asked the Chinee the same question; her reply was $100 dollars.

so now he put the question to de darkie (african), hear yuh gyul response:

"Your Honour
if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, get my panty down as low as my wages, and get that thing in your pants as hard as the times are, and screw me the way you do the public, believe me Mr. Minister, it ain't going to cost you a blasted cent

[Narcissus]

Jamaican Bus
Bus driver speaking on the intercom : Welcome
to Bus numba 40, running from Papine to Down Town Kingston.
Please direct your attention to di Ducta who will instruct yuh on
our safety and model features. ConDucta : Hail up massive! We
want you to know that you are riding on the safest bus dat run
pan di di Paipine to Down town route. The mogle of our bus is a
1980 Elcava , owned and operated by Rough Rider transports .
Dis mogle can survive any adversities an cantravasies. As unu
can si dis bus get nuff lick up an bad man shot it up nuff time an
it still a drive like new! This bus seats up to 55 passengers,
howeva, due to our commitment to excellent service, wi do not
leave anybady straddling in di streets. So expect to have up top
140 people in yah by di time wi reach down town. During di journey
we may encounta unexpected turbulences ..These are known as
pot holes. In di case of a sudden bump please refrain fram bawling
out Lard Jesas mi dead now! Our driva is an experience driva an
will mek sure di axle an wheel noh bruck aff ina one a dem. But
incase wi drap ina one an caan come out.. please do not climb troo
di window dem til unu pay unu bus fare..I will shat unu r*ss wid mi 45.
This bus is not equipped with seat belts. Please hole on pon di
railing when di bus a tun di carna dem. The bus is capable of driving
pon 2 wheels around all corners and bends. When di bus a tun one
wicked carna pon 2 wheelie, wi ask dat our seating passengers bear
it if smaddy slide dung ina dem seat an squash yuh gainst di bus side..
Our seating passengers may experience standing passengers loosing
dem balance an falling ova pon unu .. please do not yell out, Hey batty
bway, come off a mi R*ss Lap! Dat may cause a serious shoot out!
On exiting the bus please don?t expect di bus to come to a full stop.
Wi asking dat yuh hop off a di bus step skillfully .. if unu drap an lan
pon unu backside an bruck sinting, Rough Rider noh response.
This is NOT a non-stop journey. As a matta fact wi stop any which
part wi waan wi stop at every yaad gate - all ina miggle road wi stop.
Howeva dis bus noh stop fi police ..incase of an unexpected police
chase, the driva will be forced to increase the bus' normal speed from
100 ml/hr to 160 ml/hr. Yuh will be instructed to hole on tight an shet
unu mout. In case this bus is hijacked by a terrorist known as "pick pocket",
hole di bway an murda im to r*ss. With that said, If wi reach down town
ina one piece please prepare for new passengers fi shoob unu dung
before unu can get off.. Noh mine dem..but seat kina ration...
Tank yuh for teking di ireiest Rough Rider Elcava pon di route ..
and hope you enjoy di ride.
DRIVA - PRESS OUT!!

[Narcissus]

Taliban TV guide
MONDAYS:
8:00 - "Husseinfeld"
8:30 - "Mad About Everything"
9:00 - "Suddenly Sanctions"
9:30 - "The Brian Benben bin Laden Show"
10:00 - "Allah McBeal"

TUESDAYS:
8:00 - "Wheel of Terror and Fortune"
8:30 - "The Price is Right If Osama Says Its Right"
9:30 - "Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"
10:00 - "Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer"

WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"
8:30 - "When Northern Alliance Attacks"
9:00 - "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread"
9:30 - "Just Shoot Everyone"
10:00 - "Veilwatch"

THURSDAYS:
8:00 - "Matima Loves Chachi"
8:30 - "M*U*S*T*A*S*H"
9:00 - "Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and
Veils"
9:30 - "My Two Baghdads"
10:00 - "Diagnosis: Heresy"

FRIDAYS:
8:00 - "Judge Laden"
8:30 - "Funniest Super 8 Home Movies"
9:00 - "Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things"
9:30 - "Akhmeds Creek"
10:00 - "No-witness News"

[Narcissus]

A California Highway Patrolman pulled a car over and told the Guyanese driver that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won US$5,000 in the state safety competition.

"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.

"Well, I gun get a driver's licence," he answered with pride and jubilation.

"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled the Trinidadian woman
in the passenger's seat. "He's a smart ass when he
drunk."

This commotion woke up the Barbadian guy in the back
seat. He took one look at the cop and moaned, "I
knew we not gonna get far in no tiefin car."

At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and
a Jamaican voice asked, "I man mek it krass the barder
yet?

[TriniXaeno]

hahhahhahahah X 10 at Taliban TV Guide

[pleb]

rofl you guys are good!!!

[KillZone]

Osama's Inter-Cave Memo

From: Bin Laden, Osama
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2001 8:17 AM
To: Cavemates

Subject: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as well as the one that says

"Hang In There, Baby." That cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns.

First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want to be stung and neither do I so we need to sweep the cave daily.

I've posted a sign up sheet near the main cave opening.

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background. Just while we're taping. Thanks.

Third point, and this is a touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene, especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.

Fourth: food. I bought a box of Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were gone.

Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Finally, we've heard that there may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.

Death to infidels,
Osama

[KillZone]

[KillZone]

[W1nTry]

Dread there are some CRAZY FUNNY $HIT in here.... WOW... it was hard to stop myself from laughing hysterically in the office... damn!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

[Narcissus]

waay killzone make a comeback ah thought ah woulda hadda run de thread by mehself

[Narcissus]

A researcher was interviewing a Jamaican Rastafarian
on cultural topics. Here is an excerpt from the interview.
Researcher to Rasta: 95 percent of Jamaican men suck
pum pum....

Rasta: I man no do dem tings deh....

Researcher: The other 5 percent are battymen....

Rasta: Squeeze me back inna di 95 percent....."

[Narcissus]

Rasta Loan Application

NAME: Bobo Dread Amaka Baka Fari

AGE: Rasta nuh count birtday

DATE OF BIRTH: Mi sey Rasta nuh deal wid dem tings deh man

ADDRESS: Up inna di hill dung a Wesmorlan

TEL. NO.: I man Doan participate ina di Babylan system

MARITAL STATUS: SINGLE/MARRIED/NO. OF CHILDREN: I an I is a single married man wid nuff queen an 21 likkle soljas a run bout di island

OCCUPATION: Sell Jelly coknat pan Spanish Town Rd. and weed outta mi Kitchen winda

COMPANY NAME: I man noh keep company, yuh noh seet.

PRESENT POSITION: Mi like di Lizzad lap and back-shat posishan but mi open to any adda posishan...yah nuh seet.

AVERAGE MONTHLY INCOME: Depends pan di season and di demans fi di weed..some time bizniss slow an ting

CREDIT REFERENCE: Mor Fyah! I man noh deal wid credit. Strickly up front dallas a do it

UNSECURED OVERDRAFT LIMIT: A wha di bloodclaat dat. Weh di I noh chat English?

SECURED OVERDRAFT LIMIT: Mi sey yuh fi chat bloodclaat english!!!

PERSONAL LOAN AMOUNT: Yuh waan si, Tony owe mi bout 40 gran from bout 3 mont now.. A gwine buss up him Claat when a buck im up

MONTHLY PAYMENT: Ask Tony cause a monts now mi nuh si nat a cent fram im

NO. OF MONTHLY PAYMENT OUTSTANDING: Is wha do dis ooman doah eeh? Yuh def? Yuh com back a ask di same foolishness? Mi seh Tony nuh pay mi back nat a cent a mi money yet, so all a it outstanding.

MORTGAGE LOAN AMOUNT: Sistren, mi naah lie. Mi nuh pay margage fi mi zinc shed..is I man buil dat pan kapcha lan

MONTHLY PAYMENT: Yuh com back a ask di same blood claat foolishness again?

NO. OF MONTHLY PAYMENT OUTSTANDING: Is wha do dis wooman dowe eeh? MI SEY TONY NOH PAY MI MONEY YET!!

THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER. APPLICATION FOR LOAN DENIED: GUH WEH!!! .Unnuh blood claat hypocrite an Sadomite unu! .......Ole dutty bumbo rass hole!!! Fyah bun fi unnuh! Mi Bobo Dread Amaka Baka Fari seh dat. Guh weh!!!

[KillZone]

[Narcissus]

i cyar read dah... wha it say?

[KillZone]

read the top of the pic and follow the directions

[W1nTry]

Well that says somethign about narcissis LOL

[KillZone]

A TALIBAN MISSLE

[pleb]

lolol
narcissus just look at it from the left you will see it better

[KillZone]