Just a Joke

[EmpireKing]

sicko

[Crixx_Creww]

omg i had forgetten about the nomad how bad! lol

[Spazosaurus]

 A Trini woman was walking along the banks of Maracas

    Bay Beach when she stumbled upon an old empty bottle.

    She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a

    Genie appeared. She talked with him awhile then the

    Genie told her he would grant her ONE wish.

     She said she heard from a cousin that she would get
     three wishes if she ever found a Genie.
     The Genie said, "Nope, sorry three-wish genies are a

     Story-tale myth.

     I'm a ONE-WISH Genie. So... what'll it be?"

     The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in
     the Middle East.

     See this map, I want these countries to stop fighting
     with each other and I want all the Arabs to love Jews
     and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about

    World peace and harmony."

     The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lord Lady,
     Wat wrong wit yuh?

      PLEASE BE REASONABLE! These countries have been at war
     for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being
     in a bottle for five hundred years.

     I'm good, but NOT THAT GOOD!!! I don't think it can be done.

     PLEASE make another wish and please ah beg yuh... Be reasonable."

        The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've
     never been able to find the right Trini man...You
    know, one that DOESN'T DRINK ALCOHOL, is considerate
    and fun, likes to dance and helps with the cooking &
    household chores, is great in bed, is FAITHFUL to me
    and will attend church with
me.

      That's what I wish for... a good Trinidadian man.
     The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his head and
     said, "Let me see that blasted map again."

[EmpireKing]

hard luck dey ah hear da one already

[BeoBear]

yea empire...i hear alot of these already...but you dun need ta say so.

[EmpireKing]

ssssry

allyuh hav any rel stale/corny jokes

[Crixx_Creww]

it sad that we hadda laff at the premise of a "good trini man" fuh real eh

i mean good could happen
buh wah dah woman want lOL for real

[EmpireKing]

The dummy twins are goin to the superbowl. But don`t wanna drive being that there are going to be 80,000 people at the game. So dum tells dummy why don`t we ride a camel to the game, well dummy thinks that a great idea.So they both get on the camel and go to the game.At the end of the game they walk out and find 20 camels lined up outside.Dummy starts crying saying which is our camel? Dum says relax go and lift the tails of the camel an look for 2 azzholes. Well dummy lifts all 20 tails an starts crying again an tells dum that none of them do.Dummy says are you sure, cause when we rode in i heared someone say, look at those 2 azzholes on the camel!

[TriniXaeno]

lol

good one.

check this pic out. funneh

[EmpireKing]

sry but no.

[vivman1107]

Your mama is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

[BeoBear]

*shoots vivman*

[New Era Outlaw]

Your mama is so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

*shoots vivman TWICE*

[Cross]

lol that halo one kinda decent

but i like the one about the  monkeybaby

[New Era Outlaw]

That Halo one's pretty clever, but it took me a while to get. Still pretty funny, though.

[vivman1107]

Top 176 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing A Word With "Pants"

http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1906

Top ten below

I find your lack of pants disturbing.
You are unwise to lower your pants.
Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.
The Force is strong in my pants.
I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
Your pants, you will not need them.
You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants.
I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.
In his pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering

[Red Paradox]

Samus and Master Chief?!?!?!?

Holy  f***!!!!

[EmpireKing]

ALLYUH AH HAV AH EMERGENCY....I NEED AS MUCH STALE JOKES AS POSSIBLE BY TONITE

[Jarrox]

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!" he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.

"Bring them as well!"

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall!"




Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is about to lie?
A: His lips start moving.

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
A: A hooker will stop trying to screw you once you're dead.



A secretary was leaving the office and she saw the CEO of the company standing by the paper shredder.

The CEO said, "Listen, this is a very important document. Can you make this thing work?"

The secretary turned on the machine and the paper went in perfectly.

As she did this he said, "Great, I just need one copy."


This guy runs home and bursts in yelling: "Pack your bags honey -- I just won the lottery!!"

She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

He replies, "I don't care... Just get the heck out!!"


A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Q: Have you any grounds?
A: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

Q: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
A: It made of concrete.

Q: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
A: No, we have carport, and not need one.

Q: I mean. What are your relations like?
A: All my relations still in Poland.

Q: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
A: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Q: Does your wife beat you up?
A: No, I always up before her.

Q: Why do you want this divorce?
A: She going to kill me.

Q: What makes you think that?
A: I got proof.

Q: What kind of proof?
A: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put in shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover."

[vivman1107]

It must have seemed a good idea to name a website after the well-known phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword." But written as a web address (URL) which has to have no spaces between words, it didn't turn out exactly as planned. The result is would-be writers finding a site called www.penismightier.com. And it is not the only one to have fallen into the trap. Here is a selection of some of the www.ackiest names on the net.

1. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com

2. Therapists in the US merely wanted to offer troubled souls a shoulder to cry on. Let's hope their advice is not as short-sighted as whoever registered the URL www.therapistfinder.com

3. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

4. There is one betting site that is way out in front as our favorite. With their name they are bound to attract a lot of people looking for each-way wagers: www.oddsexchange.com

5. "We're not just a printer," claims the American firm Tri-Plex. And they guarantee: "Short runs or long, we can handle both equally well." But it makes you wonder what kind of service they are offering from their website with a name like this: www.triplexbusiness.com

6. If you are looking for a place to download the latest songs you might think this one is a homage to bad digital music. Mind you, the site is flagging up the new Michael Bolton album, so maybe it does what is says on the tin after all: www.mp3shits.com

7. Law firm Morrison & Foerster have more than 1,000 legal eagles worldwide. Surely you would have thought one would have spotted the clanger in their site. They couldn't have been briefed properly that it contains a slang abbreviation for a rather strong swear word that would leave them in contempt in the courtroom: www.mofo.com

8. This drinks franchise has spawned a host of copycat stores around the US as it attracts customers by the barrel-load desperate for a schoolboy giggle and quick slurp: www.beaverliquors.com

9. Some say Americans don't understand irony and a site set up by Ingleside Vineyards of Virginia bears that out. They must be flushed with success if the name they chose is anything to go by: www.ipwine.com

10. The plant-growers of Mole Station Nursery in New South Wales claim to specialise in the production of frost- hardy native shrubs and farm trees. Sounds like they are more into deflowering: www.molestationnursery.com

11. If you need an IT professional to fix your broken PC this could be a great place to start, especially if you are having a problem with your hard drive or interruptions to your AC/DC supply: www.expertsexchange.com

12. Looking for an actor and want to get in touch with his or her agent? Then Who Represents is a database of contact names and numbers. But the site owners may well become brassed off by some of the unsavoury clients it attracts: www.whorepresents.com

13. The official site for Barnet Copthall Masters Swimming Club says it has a 12A rating to warn off young kids. It has all the club?s latest news. So why not a section on how to improve your breaststroke? www.upthebeavers.com

14. A building firm based in Ontario, Canada, promises: "No job too small, or too tall." They have even helpfully included some handy pictures showing exactly how they manage to get it up: www.mammotherection.com

15. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company… www.powergenitalia.com

16. And then there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com