All right, all right. I'll share one of my top secret recipes.
Ready?
(ahem)
THE NEW ERA OUTLAW'S SECRET RECIPE FOR GORILLA STEWYou will need:
Seasoning
3 bunches of bananas
3 onions
1 pair of nunchucks
1 good pair of running shoes
1 sturdy net
And, of course, one rabid mountain gorilla.
1) Find a gorilla. Otherwise, you can't make the stew. Duh.
2) Once found, tempt him with bananas.
3) Once he starting wolfing the bananas, pelt him with 3 onions.
4) Once you realise that #3 was probably pointless and stupid and only served to aggravate said gorilla, put on running shoes and RUN.
5) Ah, boy, I certainly hope you trained in the marathon for this part. I hear those gorillas are DAMN fast. Tire him out by running away as much as you can. This makes it tender and juicy. I guess. How the hell should I know? You're the a$$ trying this recipe.
6) Once tuckered out, capture him in net.
7) Beat with nunchucks to tenderize. Why nunchucks? I dunno....
8 ) Peel gorilla. And for the love of GOD, keep how you even
accomplished that to yourself, you sick bastard.
9)Season gorilla to taste. Yes, I just told you to taste a gorilla. What...you haven't done it once before?
....okay, then.
10) Open pot to place gorilla.
11) Realise that you've taken so God damn long to get this far, the gorilla's woken up and is really pissed. What, you mean to tell me that you've pelted him with onions, pistol whipped him with nunchucks,
peeled him, and NOT expect him to get mad? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
12)If you've made it this far, you've survived being mauled by that angry gorilla and are still with us. Repeat as many times as you like until you cease to exist, because if you even attempted this recipe, you should really remove your genes from humanity's gene pool, you dumba$$.
Enjoy!
(WAM!)
(gets clobbered by Baego)
Baego: Dammit to HELL, NEO!!!
Me: ...what? O__o