heavy stuff
parenting is very hard but it's rewarding in a way that cannot be put
into words.
Highly recommended
_____
From: Maxximillian [mailto:maxximillian@carigamers.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 10, 2004 11:57 PM
To: gatt@gatt.co.tt
Subject: {GATT} Rate your readiness to have a baby
Is parenthood for you?
Rate your readiness to have a baby
For some people this is the world's easiest question -- they've always
been able to see themselves as parents, they have their life set up the
way they want it, and they're ready to go. Others go back and forth on
this one for years, or feel the need to do a little serious wobbling
before taking the plunge. Some just never get the call. Wherever you are
on the spectrum, even if you know you want to do it, you can make a
conscious decision about whether to become a parent.
If you're having trouble deciding whether you want to have a child, or
are just wondering whether you're ready to take on this lifelong
project, we hope this section will help you get closer to a decision.
One thing's for sure: No one has to have children. The world's not short
on people to populate it, and whether to become a parent is completely
up to you and whatever hopes and dreams you have for your life.
The hardship factor
And it's a big decision, not to be taken lightly. Being a parent is
really fun, and satisfying in a way you can't fully imagine when you
don't have children. And it's really hard work -- more work than you can
imagine until you've done it. It's hard because of the sheer volume of
demands on your time and energy, with few breaks to refresh and
recharge; it's hard because parents almost never have enough time,
money, emotional support, training, or preparation to do the job they
want to do; it's hard because it puts your own emotional issues squarely
in your face as your children inevitably push every button you have; and
it's hard because the mistakes you make -- and you'll make some, for
sure -- affect the ones you love the most: your children.
Having a child is a major life change, and because women everywhere bear
the major responsibility for raising children, it's a change that in
general affects women's lives more than men's. It means adding the way
society treats parents (not well) on top of the way society treats women
(ditto). "Parenting -- the vitally important job of raising the next
generation -- is treated economically almost like a hobby," says Patty
Wipfler, founder of the Parents Leadership Institute
<http://200.108.18.214/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.parentleader
s.org/> in Palo Alto, California. "Women already don't get enough pay,
support, or recognition for their contributions to society, and becoming
a parent kind of squares that." Men as a whole are more involved as
parents today than ever before, but the day-to-day housework,
meal-making, emotional counseling, childcare, purchasing, and household
details and logistics still tend to fall -- unpaid -- to the woman of
the house.
That's not to say it's an easy decision for men. Both men and women face
unhappy tradeoffs between work and parenthood in modern society, with
women usually having to choose parenting to the detriment of work, and
men usually having to choose work to the detriment of parenting. Men's
patterns of workaholism, reinforced by most workplaces today, are fueled
by a new sense of responsibility for the family. Long hours of work
increase the sense of emotional isolation that most men deal with
anyway, and many feel frustrated at not being able to be the kind of
father they wish they could be.
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